Chapter Two "My spiritual journey" continued...  

       All of a sudden, I was thrust into having to face the facts of living in the “real world”.  I didn’t like what I saw and experienced. It was a “dog eat dog” world, and as far as I could see, there were only two kinds of dogs - those who were eaten by other dogs, and the dogs who did the eating.  “For all practical purposes”, those were the only two basic ways of dealing with “making a living” and living your life.  In other words, I realized that the world was basically populated by two kinds of people, the users and the used.  The “powerful” and “successful” people of the world got that way, and stayed that way, by “stepping on” other people - whoever they needed to step on in order to get ahead. Thus the majority of people were usually always getting stepped on.  It hit me like a ton of bricks - we had a whole world based on this, and the results were starvation, suffering, and servitude for most, while a few elite individuals had tremendous power and lived in incredible opulence and luxury.  I also knew there were no good political solutions to these problems either, including such things as communism or socialism - because the problems were in basic human nature, and corruption always seems to get a big foothold, regardless of the political system. Even then, I realized the answer to this problem could only come from a change that took place inside every person on Earth.  And I knew the chances for that were absurd.  As I matured it became even more clear, and more unbearable. Eventually, my pain over this became overwhelming.  I no longer wanted to live in the “dog eat dog” world - I couldn’t tolerate the idea of living life as one of the “eaters”, or one of the “eaten”. I gradually began entertaining thoughts of suicide.

New Hope Arises from an Odd Place

       One day someone recommended I read Robert Heinlein’s book “Stranger in a Strange Land”.  Obviously, I could relate to the title alone.  But there was far more to it.  I couldn’t put it down.  Even though it was fiction, it stirred something deep inside me that was very real indeed - something that haunted me from then on. An idea was planted in my mind that I couldn’t stop thinking about. It was no more than a mere concept, yet it was more.  It presented a wonderful and great ideal.  It was the simple concept of human beings living together in a community, in harmony, as one big family who shared everything and unselfishly loved and cared for each other - and all others. “What a great idea!” I thought to myself. “That’s it.  That’s the answer.” That’s what I was looking for.  To me, what was represented in that sci-fi fiction book seemed more like real spirituality, or how truly spiritual people would live, than most of the so-called spiritual or religious books I’d read. I was sad that it was fiction, and the people weren’t real. But I didn’t see why there couldn’t really be people like that somewhere.  It seemed like if something could even be conceived of, it could also be real, or eventually become real.  So fiction or not, it gave me hope, and spurred me on to continue my spiritual search even harder.  But after a while it appeared that my search was futile.  I simply wasn’t able to find a religion, spiritual path, community, cult, or even one person, that fit my ideal. My frustration over this eventually turned to deep despair. 
       I grew increasingly despondent, and by 17, I finally gave up on finding anything or anyone who really had all the pieces of this grand puzzle, or people who fully lived a life of truth, peace, harmony, and love.  And with my hope lost, there was nothing left for me here.  I decided to end my life.  But right before I was about to do it, I had a very odd experience.  One that not only resulted in my not killing myself, but in finding a new way of thinking, and of living.  I was about to realize that there was a “third way” of living in this dog-eat-dog world (not just the two choices of being a “dog eater” or “dog meat”).  The strange experience I was about to have, would forever change things for me, in ways I couldn’t even imagine at the time. 

It must be the Age of TV

       What happened next was very bizarre.  You might say it was a significant example of Jung’s concept of “synchronicity”, but it was even more than that.  For those who aren’t familiar with the concept, synchronicity is like “coincidence” but it is not just “chance”. It’s actually meaningfully connected to other events, possibly even connected to the entirety of all things in the Universe - God.   But you could also call it “Universal Flow”, or a “modern miracle”. A simple example of this might be talking with someone about a certain topic, and then a song comes on the radio that fits the conversation perfectly, and perhaps has a significant message regarding it.

       Just before I was about to take an overdose of sleeping pills to “do myself in”,  I started old fashioned “channel surfing” - turning the knob on my old black and white TV.  I know it may sound strange to do that when you are in the process of killing yourself, and I didn’t even know why I was doing it at the time. I thought, maybe it was out of habit, maybe out of desperation, maybe for entertainment, distraction, or comfort in my last minutes of life. But as it turned out, my channel surfing wasn’t for any of those reasons.  It was an “urge” I was following, from some kind of divine guidance or protection, that was compelling me to do it from within myself.  Anyway, to my surprise, as I turned the channel changing knob, I noticed a picture on the “U” channel setting.  That was very strange indeed. There was never a station broadcasting on that channel before. In fact, at the time, there were no “UHF” stations at all. To make a long technical story short for those of you too young to remember TV’s back then, there was a broadcast on a channel that virtually couldn’t have had a broadcast on it in those years. There was never anything but static on these channels previously, and it would be years into the future before any television shows would ever be broadcast on them.  The odds against the entire complicated incident, were beyond any odds. It could have only been some kind of “higher force”, a television test, or some television genius kids messing around with the airwaves.  The latter possibilities quickly faded as I viewed the “show”.      

       On my TV screen was a man who looked much like the stereotype image of “God”.  It was sort of an interview, but a bit more like a lecture. As fate would have it (definitely), the subject matter of the lecture was all about spirituality, God, the universe, creation, and of a history that went way beyond any I’d even known. His energy and intensity was striking.  His eyes seemed to look right through me, yet right at me, like he was actually speaking TOME in person. It was as if Zeus, Merlin, and Moses had merged into one being, and stepped out of history into my living room.  He was dressed in a white robe, and from my studies, I recognized that he was wearing the type of ancient headdress worn by the Essenes, and purportedly worn by a legendary ancient spiritual tradition called the Great White Brotherhood that I’d read about in books from the 1920’s (not to be confused with modern groups that call themselves that).  He spoke perfect English, but with a subtle hint of an accent that was un-identifiable, and he pronounced certain words using British style pronunciation rather than American. 

       As I listened to him speak, the man’s every word struck a chord in me - they “rang” my “inner bell of truth”.  Here was someone who obviously knew many of the scattered little bits of truth I’d found - but they were all consolidated into one teaching!  As I listened in awe, his strange TV “lecture” answered my many unspoken questions. It was almost as if he were reading my mind.  Even when he spoke of knowledge or concepts I had never heard before - I seemed to already know them somehow. [author’s note - this book could have a similar effect on you, depending on who you are and what stage of your path you’re on.]

       Next, he spoke of his origins. No, it wasn’t outer space, or the heavens. While it was not nearly so far-fetched as that, it was still amazing. He said he was a monk of an ancient spiritual order who’s name in English was, “The Children of The Law of One™ ”, but that they were known by many names throughout the centuries. That name rang a bell, both internally, and because I’d read something about it in the Edgar Cayce material. As I listened, I was caught between feelings of total awe, and wondering if this was really happening (like maybe I was on Candid Camera or the butt of a practical joke). 

       The man went on to say that their spiritual lineage, their teachings and practices, stretched back to ancient Egypt, and before that, Atlantis.  He said their order was not devoted to any one religion, dogma, or worshipping any leaders, past or present, but rather, it was dedicated to serving and experiencing God directly, via the development and use of Unselfish Love. They were also dedicated to helping others achieve that (if they wanted to and were ready for the task).  While true total freedom, has never been a condition of life on Earth, they taught how to develop real freedom of thought, and considered free will choices to be a sacred right.  But most importantly to me, they were devoted to living a life of giving, caring, kindness, sharing, compassion, and harmlessness.  It was what I had been looking for my whole life. 


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